A Day in the Life of Snake
by sn0zb0z
Summary: A random one shot of a normal day for the criminal, Snake. Please read and review!


Snake, one of the most well known criminals of Springfield, woke up that morning finding himself once again staring at the grey walls of a prison cell with metal bars covering his only means of escape. He groaned as he stood up, running a comb through his hair. He sat down on the hard prison bed and waited for Chief Wiggum.

He soon came, whistling an annoying tune, and stopped outside Snake's cell.

"Morning," he said "I see you're in here again. What for this time?"

"Robbing the Kwik-E-Mart," Snake replied, noticing the shining silver keys that hung on Chief Wiggum's belt. He tried several times to get them while Chief Wiggum was talking to him, but somehow he managed to move out of his reach everytime. Eventually Chief Wiggum grabbed the keys himself and began to unlock the cell. "Now no funny business," he warned as he let Snake out. Of course Snake wasn't going to wait to be handcuffed and led somewhere so he made a run for it, grabbing his gun on the way out as the careless police officer, Lou, had left it lying around after his arrest yesterday afternoon.

Snake ran out the police station and turned to the right, but noticed Lou across the road carrying doughnuts (clearly for Chief Wiggum) so he quickly turned and ran the other way just as Chief Wiggum came out the station, panting.

"Whoa he runs fast. Oh, hey Lou, you got the doughnuts!" he yelled, forgetting at once about the escaped criminal.

"Sure did Chief," Lou replied, handing him the box. "Say, Chief, who was that guy that just ran out carrying the gun?"

Already stuffing his face with doughnuts, the Chief shrugged and made his way back in to the police station, settling down in to his chair.

Snake meanwhile was around the corner watching and he laughed evily as the police went inside. "Oh right, time for some crime!" He loaded the gun and made his way down the street, pulling his cigarettes out from under his sleeve and lighting one.

He saw an old black sports car parked at the side of the street and, seeing his chance, jumped in, hotwired the car and put his foot down just as Lionel Hutz came out a nearby shop.

"Hey, my car!"

"So long," Snake shouted, zooming off and going through red lights. He made his way through the streets of Springfield and drove to the Kwik-E-Mart, nearly knocking over the old looking man, Hans Moleman, as he swerved in to a parking space right outside the Kwik-E-Mart doors.

He jumped out the car, grabbing his gun which he held by his side, and walked calmly in to the store.

"Good morning. Back so soon?" Apu questioned, cheerful as always. Snake simply grunted and pointed the loaded gun at Apu.

"Quiet," Snake ordered as he hauled himself over the counter, pulled a length of rope out his pocket and tied Apu up to a wooden chair that was nearby. He then opened up the cash till taking all the notes out, grinning as he did so. "Alright, I got me some money!" He jumped back over the counter and ran out the store.

"Thankyou. Please come again," came Apu's voice just as the automatic doors closed.

Snake got back in the car, throwing the money under the back seat and reversed carelessy out of the parking lot, nearly running Hans Moleman over again. The man sighed and slowly carried on his way to the store as Snake sped off in to the distance.

He raced along at a deadly speed and had to swerve a police car coming the other way.

"Hey Chief wasn't that the escaped prisoner from this morning?" Lou asked, slowing the car down.

Chief Wiggum, who hadn't even noticed the car, took a bite of his Krusty burger and lowered it slightly to look in the side mirror of the car. Seeing no sign of anything he shrugged. "You know, I think I should have bought them fries after all." The police car then carried on, allowing the criminal to get away again.

After having swerved around the corner from the police, Snake ended up driving on the sidewalk where Bart just happened to be skateboarding towards him.

Snake grinned and put his foot down. "Ha!" he laughed as he came within a few inches of Bart.

"Eep," was all Bart said as he jumped the skateboard up on to the front of the car.

"Whoa," Snake cried out, unable to see anything and hitting a few small posts and mail boxes. Bart did a kickflip over the car just missing Snake's head as he did so, and landed on the back of the car before jumping the board off and landing safely on the sidewalk again. Bart got off his board and turned to see the destruction the car had made as the maniac hit a few more things before skidding back on the road and round another corner.

The escaped criminal then decided that, considering he was free, he may as well rob a few more places so he screeched to a halt outside Moe's Tavern and jumped out the car. He pushed the old door open and stepped inside before holding his gun up at Moe. The drunk regulars didn't take any notice, though Barney took the opportunity to drink from the tap while Moe wasn't looking.

"Hey, I don't want no trouble," Moe growled, but Snake didn't care as he shot Moe in the shoulder.

"Alright, got him," Snake grinned "now give me all your money!" Moe however grabbed his gun.

"I don't think so!"

Suddenly the sound of sirens was heard, getting louder. "Oh no – cops!" Snake went to make a run for it, but Lou caught him.

"Got him Chief."

"Hey, that's good work Lou," Chief Wiggum replied, stuffing a few fries in his mouth.

"Thanks Chief."

Chief Wiggum then got out the police car and walked over to where Lou was handcuffing Snake.

"Looks like you're going down again. Put him in the car," he ordered Lou, who nodded.

"Man, this is bad," Snake groaned as he was forced in to the car. "I'll be back," he threatened as the car door was slammed shut on him.

"Sure ya will," Chief Wiggum laughed as he got in the passenger side. Lou laughed as well as he got in the drivers side and drove off back to the police station, with a very unhappy guy in the back who swore revenge on Springfield.


End file.
